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[24 Apr 2007|11:24pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

okay fine whatever, things worked out.
i'm a little stupid idiot.

things usually work out.
they worked out and are looking good.

i still can't believe I got into U. Rochester. The more I read about it, the more i'm baffled as to why they accepted me. it's a pretty darn good school. i lucked out.

i'm happy.

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[07 Apr 2007|05:31pm]
[ mood | cynical ]


i've never been one of those girls where stuff like this goes smoothly.
i thought for once maybe it would go my way.


i'm giving up.

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[26 Mar 2007|07:54pm]
[ mood | flirty ]

The partying and mingling happened on Thursday, hardcore.

I'm excited. He's different. Let's see how it goes.
I already feel myself getting ahead of...myself.
I hate acting like a girl. fuck.

p.s. i love kissing.


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[16 Mar 2007|07:15pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

Nothing that ever happens to me...or anything I ever feel can be put into words that justify it.
Too bad for you.

I need some parties..fun shit like that.
I'm ready to mingle!

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[07 Feb 2007|10:32pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?
I’ll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how i
Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard
The rhythm of the rain that drops
And coincides with the beating of my heart

I’ll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel.

-I don't know how I feel about a lot of things lately.hmmmmm.-

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[01 Feb 2007|12:29am]
[ mood | lonely ]

Notes to people that are most probably not you:

a) you're slightly shady, but i miss you everyday. i can't visit you in march anymore. i just wonder what it would have been like if i did. i have a feeling i know already. will you be in my future? because i think about that way too much. i'd like you to be there, but mostly, i want to know if everything in the recent past was worth it. don't text me when you're drunk anymore, it doesnt work for either of us. you can call. that's entertaining. and. prom is looking good for you, which i hope is a good thing for me. we'll see. miss and love you best friend.

b) you're entirely too cute. but also too shy. when you came onto my radar screen is a mystery to me, but now that you're there i'm having a hard time getting you off. continue to text me. i couldn't go to sleep last night because i was thinking about the other night. interested? no clue. how incredibly random is this situation. our weekends are too full and you're a lot of talk, but in an innocent and good way. i am, however, not quite sure what i want. let me know. your friend...and then some?

c) i finally got my parking sticker, so if you could please stop yelling at me everytime i enter the parking lot that would be fantastic. i know you're joking, because you love me and my mom, but you're voice is booming and intimidating regardless. let me leave campus for food, just so i have some adventure in my life. for, that may be the only source. tell bob that he has no purpose.

d) stop assigning a study guide per night. it wont kill you to give us a break once in awhile. i only have 1 hour free in my entire waking day, i'd like to spend that hour as far away from fungi and protists as humanly possible. i know you like my brother more than me. i'm probably annoying lately. too bad for you. you read the 10 for a 5 words too fast, no one can write that quickly. boo.

e) spring break in Puerto Rico is going to be amazing. i absolutely cannot wait. i will say no more. i'm glad we're finally together again.

d) i don't deserve everything you give me. more to come later, but i love you. there is nothing more i can ask for.

i feel as though this is part one..of something more that i have not yet planned. stay tuned.

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[16 Jan 2007|10:55pm]
[ mood | good ]

We put Bella down on Friday.
I barely got to say goodbye to her because I'm never at home long enough, all I ever do is run around.
It's sad mostly because she was technically my dog, Bella "Nora's Bella" Graham, which is lame, but seemed appropriate to the family when I was three years old. It's sadder though because this is the end of an era. From the day we got her, I knew subconciously that around the time that she died, I would be going off to college. And so here I am less than six months away from college and Bella's gone....i've known it all along, what timing.
I'm not as sad anymore. Because she was 15 and had a great life. But nonetheless, its no fun.

In other news, i'm falling a little?
And it's totally not like me.
But it's cute and weird.
I'm so happy lately.

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[02 Jan 2007|11:04pm]
I hate being jealous of other people. i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it. i'm so lucky for my family and my friends and everything that i have in my life, but once in awhile i get a pang of "i wish i could have that" and the things that i do have dont seem good enough. i hate that. lately, everywhere i look people are in love, which is good for the world, and great for the people in love, but not so great for me, personally. and i loathe being cynical and "boohoo my life blows lets all cry" about it but i look back on my life..and i think that i deserve a "sweep me off my feet, i want to spend every second of right now with you, i can't stop looking at you, i think about you and my body feels shaky, lets drive together without going anywhere" kind of thing. just for a little bit, to say i've been there.

things are funky with a best friend right now. which hurts. and i don't know how to deal with it because he's used to me being a guy about stuff...and i just want to be a girl and cry about it and tell him to be nicer about things, and show me that he doesn't take me for granted. but instead i use sarcasm and he's a stubborn asshole and the whole thing gets turned around. ow.
there are hundreds of perks about having a guy as a best friend....
and then there are one or two things that have you kissing the feet of your girls.
jfkasl;vnmkal;fejhwa i want this to be over.

in other news, this entry is entirely too long. and i need to brush my teeth.
and despite various circumstances, life still isn't too bad.

p.s. happy new year. 2007 should be quite the 365 days. 363 now, i guess.
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[23 Dec 2006|05:02pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

Life is so good right now.

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[17 Dec 2006|10:47am]
[ mood | enthralled ]

I'm in.
It feels amazing. A little scary..like reality is kicking in. But cool.
That whole senioritis thing I was talking about before? Amped to the max.
Uh Oh.

University of Rochester Class of 2011. bitches.

Not to mention a fantastic weekend. Things are looking good.

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[15 Dec 2006|12:46am]
Tomorrow I find out if I was accepted early decision to the University of Rochester.
I feel like I should be more nervous.
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[06 Dec 2006|09:45pm]
[ mood | bored ]

I never thought Senioritis would plague me...
oh, but plague me it has.

I have absolutely no motivation to do work. None.
Oh, and I have plennnty of work to do. Don't you be mistaken.

In other news, I love yogurt and honey wheat twist pretzels and my friends and dance company and the play (yes, its true).
My assignment pad is chock full of festivies to come, plus a hefty steamy serving of winter break..mmm delicious.
Should be interesting.

What else? Nothing.
My character shoes give me blisters but I DON'T CARE la la laaaa.
Update to come. I enjoy writing a sentence or two from time to time. Clears a part of my soul for some new shit...in a good way.

See you all.

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[26 Nov 2006|02:42pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Excellent break.
Just what i needed.

A little more school and then winter break comes for our enjoyment. Superb.

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[24 Nov 2006|02:38am]
[ mood | confused ]

I'm so happy, that i'm sad.
I'm so effing messed up...ugh.
I'm not usually..but i am now.

it's weird when you wait for something for so long...and then it comes.
or comes back should i say.

feel's good. but weird.

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[15 Nov 2006|07:53pm]
[ mood | sick ]

My day was sooo boring.
Wanna hear about it? OK.

1. My mom and I decided last night that i was going to stay home today because i am what we like to call "Under the Weather". or as i like to refer to it: below the meteorology.
2. I slept until 9, only because yesterday I slept for approximately..19 out of the 24 hours in the entire day. don't believe me? well, then you're dumb.
3. My mom woke me up because Kaitlyn had just called her and told her that Mr. Arduini is considering me for a part in the musical, and I must attend the callback at 4:00 in the evening.
4. We laugh, because those who know me know, that acting is not something that i'm "good at."
5. Parents proceed to mock me the entire morning. They refer to themselves and mr. and mrs. demil. and when i enter a room they first must tell eachother that i am ready for my close-up. they think they are funny. i don't laugh. i cry. and tell my mom to give me sudafed.
6. Mom makes a doctors appointment for 10 o'clock.
7. We leave the homestead at 9:20 because we plan to stop at the Black Cow: a hippie coffe shop in croton, for coffee before my EXAMINATION OF HEALLTHH.
8. The black cow is so full of hippie democrats (this coming from quite the liberal, mind you) that i am suprised the people inside were wearing shoes. the mothers carry their babies in hemp sacks...
9. On the wall we see a bumper sticking reading.."Real Men Raise Children": my mother then insists i call her dad. (and refers to herself as a real man for the rest of the car ride.)
10. Mom and I get a coffee and a muffin each, she carrot, me low fat mixed berry. i only ate the berries. that is all i could swallow.
11. sing gloria estefan songs until we reach the doctor. which is difficult because we dont "speak fluent spanish"
12. enter the doctors office and find the "sick side" of the room, mom tells me not to touch the toys. gee mom. because the colorful blocks looked so tempting.
13. we chat until my name is called.
14. we are escorted to the examination room..lady asks me if i'm feeling okay. i want to slap her because..clearly..i don't feel okay. OH YEAH ACTUALLY SOMETIMES I JUST LIKE TO MISS SCHOOL AND GALAVANT AROUND THE SICK SIDE OF THE DOCTORS OFFICE ON WEDNESDAY MORNINGS LALALA.
15. she takes my temp (always normal) ears nose throat blah blah. gets the doctor.
16. wait a million hours for the doctor.
17. mom and i listen through the wall as a child has a temper tantrum before he recieves his shot. he screams like a little girl. we find out he is a 11 years old. we find this amusing, especially when they must bring in the burly man nurse to hold the child down because "he is kicking, and dangerous near a siringe"
18. finally they give him the shot and the kid did more crying before the effing shot then during it and i just wanted to slap him.
19. the doctor enters. she tells me i dont have strep but i have a virus thats going around and it lasts 7-10 days and thats sucks for me. she gives me two types of pills and tells me i can go to school tomorrow if i feel okay..
20. we leave.
21. return home. eat tuna and matzahh..mmmm i'm a jew. thats so lame.
22. sleep for eternity, watch half of rent, brother makes fun of the entire movie...i look at him very meanly..but i cant get up.
23. kaitlyn tells me that the call backs are tomorrow.
24. sleep sleep sleep.
25. try on a bathing suit...because i'm that bored.
26. take a bath..because the shower head just like broke the fuck off. just like..fell down...so that was a good time. i was like...okkkay bath it is.
27. wait for dinner..wait wait wiat wait wait.
29. Mom just called. Dinner.
30. i love meals. la la laa..hopefully i'll see you tomorrow.
31. if not i'll cut my head off.
i can't wait for thanksgiving breakkk omg. omg. omg.
only asian boys like me.
thats my life. BYE AGAIN.

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[08 Nov 2006|08:55pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Time is moving so slowly.

I am insanely excited for them to come home.
Next week is going to feel like an eternity.

Plus, who doesn't love Thanksgiving? Come on.

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[16 Oct 2006|10:26pm]
[ mood | drained ]

It gets tiring trying to hide something from yourself.

Its like i'm running and there's only one way I can get a big breath of fresh air,
and the only way I can get it, is to keep running.

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[13 Oct 2006|11:52pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Sometimes it is totally and completely necessary to curl up with your mom in bed, and cry.

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[19 Sep 2006|05:13pm]
its true.
real life is way weirder than fiction.
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[13 Sep 2006|10:25pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

Today was one of those days where you are just inexplicably happy.
Rare. But awesome to say the least.

I am a senior.
I feel like a senior.
I feel like bursting at the seams with everything i'm involved with.
I'm in love with everything i'm doing.
I should be freaking out.
But for this one moment, and I'm totally and completely psyched about what's ahead.

november cannot come soon enough though.

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